Adoption & Foster Care Sunday

How y' all doing? Good. Thanks for having me here. Appreciate it. I was telling the first service this that I realized how old I was when I came up to speak because I. I felt this pain in my hamstring, and I realized it was actually from playing an hour of Nerf war with my three boys and two friends. Like, that's how old I am. That Nerf war causes all the. Yeah. Anyways, pray for my hammies while I'm up here. So now, again, my name is Phil Krause, one of the co directors at My Village Ministries, also part of a national collaborative called Upstream that wants to equip Family Preservation ministries to be really good at what they do. Simply put. But again, it's a privilege and honor to be here. I've just heard and seen how much the Lord has done in and through this church. Really applaud your efforts, specifically in the area of foster and adoptive care. I know there's many foster and adoptive families in this room and just cannot thank you enough as a foster and adoptive parent. It's hard work, necessary work, and I'm just. I'm thankful that I get to be up here to. To hopefully encourage y' all in some ways, specifically in this area of family preservation. But let me start off with prayer here. God, thank you for your love for us. Thank you for the gathering of saints and how much joy there is found in that. And I just pray that much like what Peter writes, that we would be stirred to wholesome thinking this morning, that we would be transformed and live differently. Thank you for the sufficiency of your word, Lord. We rely upon that. This is Jesus name. Amen. So 11 years ago, in my BC days before children, when you could actually do stuff. You know what I mean? Just kidding. Kids are a blessing, but at the same time, you get it now. My wife and I used to go on these backpacking trips every fall way to connect with each other in a way that we connected with the Lord. And on this one backpacking trip down to the Smokies 11 years ago, we. We wanted to come before the Lord to ask him, hey, are you wanting us to grow our family? And if so, what would that look like? Would it be by the way of biological kids, foster care, adoption? We didn't know. We just truly wanted to lay it for the Lord. So we were on a five day backpacking trip, and at day three, we knew without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord was inviting us to the work of foster care. So we began to pray through that process It a lot, talk about that a lot. And then on day five of the trip, about an hour before exiting out of the trail, I knew that the Holy Spirit was laying upon my heart this idea of so I know you're going to love the kids well, but will you love the parents just as much? Really challenged by that. So shared that with my wife and we process and pray through a lot of that on our drive home. Knowing that that was the ultimate call that the Lord was laying on our heart was not necessarily kids, but the parents, the whole family. We know it's God's design that he wants to keep families together when it makes sense. And so we got home from that trip and we started going through training through the Bayer foundation that took place about, that took place over the course of about a year. About just two days after we got licensed and approved, we got a call for our first placement for a 20 month old girl. At that point my wife was working as a nurse at Children's Hospital on Tuesdays and we had determined that any kids that come into our care, I would stay at home to care for those kids on Tuesday. And it just so happened that our foster daughter's first visit with biomom for the first time in almost two months was going to take place on a Tuesday and would continue to be the case. And so that night leading into that visit there was lack of sleep for sure. This was again the call that the Lord gave us to be about the parents just as much as the kids. And everything that we had heard in our foster care training is that oftentimes the bio parents will see you as a foster parent, as an enemy and in many reasons justifiably so. So obviously there's a lot of nerves going into that night, so sleepless night, spend a lot of time in prayer. But had that visit at nine o' clock in the morning on, on the building there on East Main in Columbus and had a very cordial and brief interaction with mom. That visit takes place over the course of an hour. So I ran out to do some errands, came back about 10 minutes early to a lot of chaos. And it didn't take me long to figure out the source of this chaos was the biological mom. Heard shouting, screaming every curse word you could under the, you could hear under the sun. At one point countless caseworkers went in to try to subdue the situation. And then at 1.3 police officers went in to try to calm down mom but to no avail. Then eventually our caseworker came out and Gave me one of those wags to come up to her. And so I walked up to her, and she said, hey, Phil, would you mind going in there to try to calm down mom so that you can take your foster daughter home? And I'm like, where in the world do you think I am to think that I could calm down Mom? When they tried all these things, but me not wanting to show any lack of confidence, I'm like, yeah, I got this. I'll go in there. I'm sweating profusely, you know, and I'll never forget that scene. And I always get. I always get choked up thinking about that scene of walking into that room where mom is crouched in the corner, clutching her daughter, just saying, don't take my baby away. Don't take my baby away. So what do you say in that moment? And I just remember shooting up what I refer to as those Nehemiah prayers. Just a short and sweet prayer. Lord, I need your grace and wisdom. I have no idea what to say or do. So I walked up to mom, who's still crouched in the corner. I got down on her level, and I said, hey, I just want to let you know that my relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important thing to me. And for that reason, it's easy for me to be. For you know that my wife and I have been praying for you, and I'd love to pray for you right now. She stood up, the walls came down, we prayed together, and at the end of that time, she was gladly handed over her daughter to me. On my drive home, the Lord really highlighted three things to me. One is that the name of Jesus is powerful. Amen to that. Peter was able to tell the lame man at the gate, stand up in the name of Jesus of Nazareth that he did. Number two is that I think in so many ways, people just want to know that you're for them. You know, it says in God's word that he raises up brothers and sisters in times of adversity. And this was a mom that was facing adversity where I think, in so many ways, she just wanted to hear that someone was for her. The third thing that really stood out to me is that what I walked into at that room there, the building on East Main, was not part of God's original design. That was not his intent to see families hurting and broken in that way. Now, obviously, that's a result of brokenness and sin and a million other reasons. I'm sure that that was not God's design. So we continued on with Our foster care journey. And over the course of the next two to three years, the Lord really began to grow a burden in my heart towards some things found within the foster care system. And Carrie alluded to some of those, but I'll highlight just two. There's a lot, but I'll highlight two. One of them is that I feel like the foster care system does a pretty woefully inadequate job of helping to bridge the relationship between the bio parents and foster parents. And all the research shows that if that relationship is going well, that placement is going to go pretty well. But number two is that just the amount of kids that kept ending up in the system. I go to the visits in Eastman, I felt like I kept seeing a new kid every single week. Like, what's going on? And so I started to do a lot of research, realizing, man, there's 15,000 kids in the foster care system just in Ohio alone. And over the past 10 years, it's peaked out to 30,000 calls a year reporting neglect and abuse. And I really grew burdened to this reactive work that was taking place in foster care. And out of those, that experience and those burdens that I had within foster care led me. Want to see a child hosting start here in Central Ohio? So MyVillage Ministries has been around for eight years. Praise the Lord for that. We've raised up 30 churches that are coming alongside isolated families in crisis. So again, ultimately, our desire is to equip the local church to be the consistent care and community to isolated families in crisis. So the host families are going to take in kids from that family in crisis. Coaches are going to walk alongside that parent, make sure that they're doing well, and then there's a whole team of people that are supporting those efforts. So praise the Lord in the ways that we're seeing him at work in central Ohio. One cool statistic that I didn't share last service, but I'm going to share now, is that causation is not always correlation. I get that. But hear this out. This is really cool to think about. Since our inception, there's been a 40% decrease in foster care placement. Man, that's a big deal. And again, we're not. I know we're not causing all of that, but I believe the Lord's doing something in and through this. Especially when you look at the rest of the state, numbers aren't even close. In fact, Toledo is up by almost that much. So the Lord, we believe is doing something not because of my village ministries, but because it's the Church, the Bride of Christ doing it. Amen to that. Our desire is to serve the church, not the families. If we church serve the church well, the church is going to serve these families that are isolated in the crisis. But imagine with me, if you will, that you go on a hike with nine of your best friends and to enjoy each other again, enjoy God's creation. And on this hike, you come unexpectedly to this beautiful stream. And so collectively, you decide to sit down at the stream just to again take a break, enjoy each other's presence in God's creation. And after a few minutes, while you're sitting next to this stream, this kid starts to go past you in the stream, and then another one, and then another one. Then eventually it's this whole group of kids that are going past you. And eventually one of them shouts out, help us. We're in need. We're in danger. We need help. Someone save us. Someone pull us out. I think you would see 1 of 3 responses in this moment, and I'm going to compare those responses to how we've seen the church engage in what I'm just going to call the American child welfare system, their response to it. And so in that moment, I think you would see five or six of your friends jump in right away to pull out as many kids as you possibly can. And praise the Lord for that. That's a good thing. That's foster care. Foster care exists because of neglect and abuse. And praise the Lord that there's a system in place to help out families when that is taking place. And so we have five or six of your friends jumping in to pull them out. And again, praise the Lord for that reactive work. That's a needed reactive work. Those kids need support and those families need support, those parents do. And then you're going to have two, maybe three that are going downstream saying, I know some kids have gotten past us, we got to pull them out as well. I would compare that work to adoption, and again, praise the Lord for that work. Sometimes it's needed, and it's a very redemptive work. And I think it's one of the greatest apologetics to the gospel. We're adopted as his children, and so when we do that, it's a reflection of that. But again, it's a reactive work, especially in the American child welfare space. But then if you're lucky, you're going to have one go upstream, maybe two, if you're extremely lucky, that are asking this question, why are these kids even ending up in the stream? And what are we going to do to prevent it from happening. That's the work of family preservation and based upon research, this research is fascinating. There's two main predictors that point to kids being neglected and abused in their home. It's when they're isolated and it's when they're in crisis. And that's the exact demographic that we're serving. So whether it's homelessness, drug addiction, medical emergency, joblessness, human trafficking, there's a reason that are causing parents to reach out to us to ask for someone to host their kids and for us to support them. But in that they're communicating something that we think is almost a greater crisis within whatever crisis that they're facing. That's that they're socially isolated because they're at least socially poor, if that makes sense. If not completely socially bankrupt. And we believe the church's greatest resource it has to offer is the community of Jesus Christ. God places the lonely in families and there are teed up opportunities time and time again within this ministry that we're seeing again over and over again where there's a family saying, I'm in crisis, I'm alone, I just need someone. And here are local churches found throughout our city that have strong communities, the family of God that should be welcomed to lonely, innocent. And we believe in every single one of these hosting situations we are at least tempering the chances based upon that research of those kids being neglected and are abused. And that's a big deal. And so there's some downstream impact that takes place though when we are. When kids end up facing neglect, abuse and family separation by the light way of foster care. Which should beg us to ask the question, again, what are we going to do to go upstream to serve these families? What are we going to do to line the banks of that stream to prevent any kids from ending up in that stream at all? Again, what kids, you know what kids want most? Their parents. They want their parents in a spot where they're healthy and thriving. What can we do to support them? But the downstream impact again should beg us to think of another bell that we need a ring, which I'm going to get into here in a little bit. But research shows that our homeless population is made up of 50% former foster youth. 60% of those incarcerated are made up of former foster youth and 80% of death row. Those numbers are staggering. Friends, if you were to do any research into this as it pertains to human trafficking. Well, this is fascinating. I came across this about two years ago. If you were to do research on foster care and human trafficking. They refer to it in this research time and time again as a pipeline to prostitution. And essentially what they mean by that is traffickers prey upon those that are in the foster care system and will traffic them into sex work, which is horrific to think about. And so there's this downstream impact that is taking place when neglect, abuse, family separation is taking place. What are we going to do to react? And I would make the argument to you, based upon different things out there, that the church has been ringing this bell of foster care and adoption work. And again, praise the Lord for that. We need more churches like y' all doing that work. We need to react in situations like that. But I think we need to be ringing another bell just as loudly. And that's the work of family preservation, God's desire to see all families together. And so what are we, as a church, going to do to support families in those ways? I want to highlight three verses that speak, or three things that. That speak to God's heart for marriage, children and family. If you were to go through, there's literally, I'm not making this up, hundreds of passages that speak to God's heart towards family. I'm only going to highlight a few. But as it pertains to marriage, we know in Genesis 2:24 we become one in marriage. It's a powerful imagery of unity, sacrifice and love. Ephesians 5, 25. We know this well, that the husband's love for the bride is to reflect Christ's love for the church. Then with children. In Psalm 127, 3, 5, it says this. Children are an heritage from the Lord. Children are a heritage from the Lord. Offspring, a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. And that we. And in Proverbs 17, 6, it speaks to the grandparents that your grandkids are crowned to the age. Then with family again, we know in Psalm 68, 6 that God places the lonely and families. God believed in the family so much and in the power of it that he saw this as the earthly solution to those that are lonely and hurting. What I want to do right now is that I'm going to take a few moments to talk through two powerful lessons that I've learned in this work of family preservation through biblical hospitality. But what I'd like to do first is explain a little bit of what I mean by biblical hospitality. I think our culture and even a little bit of our Church culture has hijacked what hospitality actually really means. Where in today's culture it looks a lot of. A lot like. Of what you would read in like a Martha Stewart magazine where you put together this great spread, you invite your friends over and then two weeks later they do the same exact thing. That's a good thing, don't get me wrong. That's a sense of strong community. But that ain't biblical hospitality. In fact, just a couple months ago I was invited over to this shows you how much I need to be transformed by the renewing of my mind. Two months ago, went over, there was this kind of big gathering at a friend's house and they had put together the most impressive charcuterie board I'd ever seen in my life. And here I am as a 45 year old man in awe of what they did with this charcuterie board. Like what did Joanna Gaines just happened to be. Why are we. Why am I so impressed with things like that? Of that version of hospitality, I'd rather be really impressed by, for example, what my wife's love for the word looks like, man, it's like honey on her lips. She can't get enough of it. I want to be impressed by things like that. I want to be impressed by my friend Eric and my friend Whitney, who cannot go out without sharing the gospel to someone they love, extending the hope of Christ to anyone and everyone that they come in contact with. How beautiful are the feet of those that deliver the good news, man. I want to be impressed by people like that. I want to be impressed by like my friend Marlene, who has the aroma of Christ on her because she spends so much time with the least of these. It's like her spending time with Jesus Christ. I want to be impressed by people who do true biblical hospitality, how it's supposed to be done as well. So let's share a little bit of what that looks like. When you look at the Hebrew and Greek hospitality simply means the love of strangers. And when you look at it contextually within the biblical accounts, so often that is done by the use of your home. So you're going to welcome in the stranger, extend great love to them by the use of your home. It's a selfless act or act of love that don't expect anything in return. It was actually seen as a. When you read the Old Testament as a sacred duty, you see it a lot of this with Abraham's story. It's also an expectation that you see within the church. Here's what's fascinating about this, when you read first Timothy, it talks about the qualifications and expectations of an elder. One of those is to be hospitable. Then you read later in one Timothy, there's this expectation as well for the widow, which I think is a very empowering and dignifying thing, that the Lord will also use the widow to extend his hand of love, comfort and compassion to those that need it. So you have the elder who has an expectation of hospitality and then also the widow. I think it's everything in between as well. We are called to be people of hospitality. And so let's use that as a backdrop as we jump into Matthew 25. You can turn there with me or you can look up on the screen. If you're a true Christian, you can actually pull out a physical Bible. Just kidding. Kinda. No. Just kidding. Drill. No. We know this passage well. Matthew 25, verses 14 through 21. I think so often, though, we don't need to be taught, but reminded. And so let's be reminded by God's word. Here again, let's use hospitality as a backdrop going into this verse 14. So Jesus has been teaching and speaking to his disciples here. It's all of that discourse he continues on here, where he says, again, it will be like a man going on a journey who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to him. So Jesus has left. He's gone to heaven to be with the Father, and he's entrusted us his wealth to him. We all have in varying degrees, our own measure of time, talents and treasure. Verse 15 to one he gave five bags of gold to another two bags, and to another one bag each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work. So he was eager, he was zealous, and he gained five bags more. He didn't waste it. So also the one with two bags gained two bags more. But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground, and hid his master's money. And after a long time, the master of those servants returned. This is Christ's return. This is his return. And settled accounts with all of them. The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. Master, he said, you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I've gained five more. His masters replied, well done, my good and faithful servant. You've been faithful with a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. I love this. Come and share in your master's happiness. I Think it's easy to come to the conclusion when you read this parable, as well as other teachings of Jesus Christ, that we are possessors of nothing but stewards of everything? He's given you, everything that you have, whether it is your time, your talent, your treasures. We know it says in God's Word in First Peter, each one should use whatever gifts he has received to serve others faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. What will you do to steward everything that God's given you? It's not for our own sake, but for the sake of others, his kingdom and his purposes. And this includes our home and our family. You know, in our culture, oftentimes we are told that our home is our place of refuge. It's where we find our rest and peace at the end of a long day. Well, there may be others out there that don't have that. Will we steward our place of refuge so it can be that for others that desperately need it? I think we need to invite a lot of people in our homes for them to experience that. I think we need to reclaim the dinner table, not just with our family, but those that don't have it. We've been blessed with many of us awesome families where love is found, the spirit of God is at work, and the lonely out there don't have it. How will you steward your family for kingdom purposes? Be on mission, Live your life on purpose in that way with your home and with your family? Again, we are possessors of nothing but stewards of everything. Second point that I've really learned in family preservation through biblical hospitality is that we get to be used to extend God's hand of comfort and compassion. You can turn with me to 2 Corinthians 1, or again, you can follow along on the screen. This passage has been really foundational for me, specifically over the past three to four years. It's not hyperbole. I've read this at least a couple hundred times now. Kind of set this up a little bit. And again, I never not get choked up when I speak to this, but I've been battling Lyme disease for eight years now, and it has not been easy by any stretch. Now, outside of physical. They like experiencing physical pain. And comedy feels torturous. Really. One of the hardest things within it, within the season of suffering is there's, there's. There could be stretches where I'm. I'm bedridden and just laid out on a couch, and there's moments that I have where I'm on the couch looking out on my backyard, watching my. My whole family jump on a trampoline, just wanting to be there with them but can't. And so to some degree, no, it's not the same thing, but I can. I feel like I can somewhat identify with these families that are coming into our care through my village or going through a season of suffering. Let's 2nd Corinthians 1 here I'm going to read verses 3 through 11. Says praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, The Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all of our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. So you've been comforted by Christ. We are to extend that to others. Verse 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. I would underline, highlight, put a money sign next to through Christ. So often early on in my season of suffering with Lyme, I thought that I could experience comfort and compassion as long as Line was gone. It doesn't come by the way of changed circumstances. It only comes to Christ and him alone. And ultimately what it is that he did on the cross for us, that's the foundation. All the other comfort and compassion is found, is built off of that. And praise the Lord I've been able, I can testify that I've experienced this hand in comfort even when it's not gone. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation. If we are comforted, it is for your comfort which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm because we know that just as you share in our suffering, so also you share in our comfort. Paul goes on to write, we do not want you to be uninformed about the troubles we experience in the province of Asia. So the church he was under persecution. People were dying, people being imprisoned. He says we were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Have you ever been in a season where it feels like it's beyond your ability to endure? But he goes on, I love these words in verse nine. A deed we had felt, we received the sentence of death. We all love that word, but in Scripture, right, But this happened that we may not rely on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead. You know, suffering I've, you know, in this season I have never simultaneously been so frustrated at the Lord, but also so seen by him. It's this paradoxical thing. And I think seasons of suffering are this double edged sword where on one side of it it sucks because it's suffering. Simply put, you don't. It's no more than that. You don't have to explain anymore other than it hurts. It's hard. Suffering ain't enjoyable. But on the other side of it there is this opportunity, I think that is extremely unique, personal and intimate for you to experience God's hand and comfort and compassion in your life where you would otherwise miss out on how unique that is if you weren't in that season of suffering. I'm sure many of us have experienced that. He goes on. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril. He will deliver us again. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us. Praise the Lord for that. As you help us by your prayers, that many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many. Little side note here. I love how Paul was unashamed to be an object of prayer. This dude who was white knuckled, missional, had it all figured out, was not afraid to get prayer. Little bonus point there. But I think going back to the beginning of this text where we get to experience the Father's comfort and compassion and how we see that we've experienced it. So therefore we should extend it to others. You know, in this, this is a lot of where I've experienced His hand of comfort and compassion on my life. Yes, the remind Preaching the gospel to myself has been a marvelous thing. Going to church and having other saints singing worship songs about his love and his grace. And the gospel has been such a powerful thing to me. And in that worshiping the Lord, even in seasons of hard, has brought me out of funk in so many different ways. But the greatest way that I've experienced His hand of comfort and compassion in my life is through the Bride of Christ. It's through the saints. And I'm sure to some degree you've all experienced that same thing. You know, I know you all are going to think I'm crazy, but I don't care because I may not see most of you ever again. But my in this journey with Lyme, in the past six months, I've been getting what they call bee venom therapy. It's where you build up to the point where you get stung on your back every Monday, Wednesday or Friday, 10 times. And it actually kills Lyme. Then praise the Lord that it's working, by the way. But in the first Three months, man. After doing this for three months, I was sitting at my church worship service and the sermon and the songs weren't even anything about this, but he was in his grace, revealing to me again as I was singing praises, the ways that he was uniquely extending his hand of comfort and compassion to me through the saints. Because every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, I was driving five minutes to one of my good friend's house, Tyler Day, who has beehives. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday night for 30 minutes, he sacrifices his time to serve me, and it's always with great joy. And I was sitting there worshiping, tears flowing, realizing, man, here's another unique way the Lord was so gracious to extend his hand in comfort in my life. I was overwhelmed to see that he would be so unique to serve me through the saints. And in that way, there's people in this church that need to experience God's hand of comfort and compassion in some way. And he's looking to you, to all of us, to extend that to some degree. And there's people in our community, like it says in Matthew 9, who are like sheep without a shepherd, helpless and hurting, who are isolated, that are longing to experience the family of God and what we're seeing time and time again in our ministry. Families being overwhelmed at God's comfort and compassion being laid upon them through the saints, through the bride of Christ, and praise the Lord for that. What I want to do, my simple challenge to you, is to take a week, just praying, asking if the Lord wants you to be engaged in this proactive work of family preservation. And there's many outlets in which that could be played out. My village is one of them. Fatherhood initiatives working on systematic changes. There's a lot of ways in which you can be engaged in this work of family preservation. Praise the Lord that this church has been ringing the bell of foster care and adoption. Praise the Lord. You're also ringing it in family preservation. So my challenge to you is, what does the proactive look like in this church? What does it look like for you to be more intentional with that? You know, it says in God's Word, we plan our course, but he establishes our steps. What are those steps that the Lord wants you to take, if any? Let us not rely on earthly wisdom, but heavenly wisdom. And so let's come before him to ask for that wisdom, to understand what engagement looks like for this work of family preservation for you and maybe your family. Let me pray. God, we thank you for again, your love for us. Thank you for the adoption that we've experienced to be a part of your family. What a joy it is to be called your sons and daughters. Lord, may we not miss that. Holy Spirit, in your grace and mercy would you remind us of how good that is today for those that have forgotten or maybe callous towards the joy that is found in being your kids remind us of that today. God, also remind us of how awesome it is to be a part of your kingdom work. Reminded of what it says in John 15, when you obey me, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father. Remain in his love. I tell you this so that you'll be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow. Would our joy be overflowing as we engage in the good kingdom work that you invite us into? And Lord, would you just grant us wisdom and help us to understand the steps that each of us may need to take within this work of family preservation. What is ours to own, may we be obedient to it. Holy Spirit, empower us to that end. We know that we do not have a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and self discipline. May we walk into that. Pray all this in Jesus name, Amen.